When I ask people what they’ve always wanted to do, a frequent response is travel. They want to go places they’ve never been and experience the cultures they’ve only read about or seen on the screen. My episodes related to travel are some of my most popular over the years, I’ve approached the topic from several angles. And I’ve gathered some excerpts here to give you a sample. My guests Jennifer Sumner and Barbara Castleton are seasoned travelers who share their experience and advice. Suzanna Uhl Vening introduced me to CouchSurfing.com a social network that can be a wonderful resource for people who want to connect with locals when they’re visiting a new area. Charles Mitchell is an experienced artist and teacher who leads painting holidays all over Italy. And Sarah Tarvin speaks eight languages and is working on for more. She offers advice for people who want to go beyond English when they visit the world.
Transcript
Liz Sumner
While many people dream of traveling the globe, one of the things that holds them back is the idea of traveling alone, maybe they’re single, or their partners aren’t interested. Many of my guests offer resources that can help the solo traveler. One thing that ties the different episodes together is that all of my guests make the point that people are friendly. Locals in the foreign countries want to help you and get to know you. And friendships happen easily in focus tour groups. My mission is to encourage people to try some things that might push the edge of their comfort zone, but I’m not advocating terror or dread.
Liz Sumner
In this first excerpt, Jennifer offers a reframe on the idea of traveling by yourself, then Barbara suggests some tools to help the novice traveler feel comfortable.
Jennifer Sumner
This this by yourself phrase you make it sound as though it’s very either or, and I don’t think it is, I think it’s very graded. For example, if you wenton a trip with a group that you felt very comfortable with, and then you went off on a walk one afternoon, by yourself that could feel wonderfully adventurous. While you’re, you know, protected, I think it’s it’s, it’s like any other fear, you do your baby steps out of it, you don’t plunge. And so you might do your your first, you know, solo in a place that you’re pretty well acquainted with, or a town you have visited before or I don’t think it’s a it makes sense to me to do it as a, you know, a big jump off a cliff thing. But I do think you could plan your baby steps so that you had that little through. This isn’t this is into the unknown. Like, one time I went, I always need to go to the bathroom more than everybody else. And the tour guide I was with was very concerned that there wasn’t a suitable bathroom for me that all there was was what the locals use, which was like a hole in the ground. And I went and use this hole in the ground in the market that that stunk. And that was very adventurous. Even though I was traveling with a group, and I think you can play the edge of your concerns and get the thrill of being courageous and have the excitement of it without the terror.
Barbara Castleton
The other thing about this is that Jennifer and I are well traveled and we’ve been well traveled for a great many years, but I had the opportunity to view somebody who was not well traveled. And so I want to preface this resource based on that person’s experience and everybody will be different but I saw travel from the eyes of a virgin, if you will. And my son in law came with my daughter to Venice a few years ago. He was like, blown away by oh my god, this is completely different. It was, it was just like Google-eyed and excited, but also intimidated. and couldn’t find his excitement. Because the variations, the differences, the whole culture, the language, the streets, the lack of cars, everything was completely and utterly different than this boy from Brooklyn. I mean, so he was in a state of art and anxiety, although he was perfectly polite to be around and everything, but you could see this happening. And on day two, we handed him a map. And he was in Brooklyn, he was just fun. From that second on, he was he was at home and willing to put up with the differences. It made such a difference. It was like a banky. You know, if you’re a two-year-old. It was like, oh, A MAP! ‘Cause he’s been, he’s grown up with maps. So I think that whatever it is, that is comfortable for you, when you’re living in your own environment, if you’re, if you like to do road trips, or hikes, or whatever that is, maybe take a similar resource with you. A map or as I do walks, you know, so that you one level of comfort that might otherwise be missing.
Jennifer Sumner
That’s brilliant to say, what is the person’s, what is it a person’s blankie? Yeah, I think that’s a great idea. For me, it’s the phrases is having the certain phrases, because I know I can bumble through a conversation and get what I need, if I have my certain phrases. So that’s very insightful. Barbara.
Liz Sumner
Do you guys do a lot of research before you travel? Jennifer, why don’t you, why don’t I start with you.
Jennifer Sumner
You know, it’s bizarre, I always mean to, but I don’t do very much. I have a couple of tricks I do to make up for that. But part of my attraction is places I’m completely ignorant about it places that have a strange name that sounds very exotic. And it’s almost like I protect my ignorance until the experience. But what I’ve often done is found a specialist there, either local tour person or something that that gives me an entry and I can tap them for the do’s and don’ts. And I love to know what is polite, and what is, you know, respectful and what not to do. I don’t want to be offensive. But I am very curious. So I will instead of doing a lot of research, I will find some people at the beginning of the trip, you know to have
Liz Sumner
A tour with that local guide that Jennifer talks about might be easily available through couchsurfing.com. Suzanne explains what it’s all about.
Liz Sumner
Tell us about couch surfing.
Susanne Uhl Vening
Couch surfing, in fact, is a social network that connects its members to a global community of travelers. And it’s all about sharing, it’s no cost. It’s safe, because references are mandatory. And it’s sharing your lifestyle, your hobbies, your interest, and sometimes your home.
Liz Sumner
Wow. Okay, so So how does it work? What happens?
Susanne Uhl Vening
You you make a profile of your expectations and what you offer to couch surfers on the site. And then some people use it for traveling low cost. So they go to a city and look, if and that city is a couch surfer. You can kind of Google inside the network. And you’ll find for example, Liz in Pergola, and you see her profile, and you’ll see that she knows all about music and art, but she probably has no room to have you sleep in, but you can share her interests and she probably shows you around in Pergola and you find someone else who has the room to offer and say, Oh good, I’m seeing you Liz in the afternoon. But maybe next day I go to see Charles, who has a room and I can sleep there for a night. So it’s not just accommodations, you’re able to meet people as the main point. It’s all about sharing and some people like to share their homes and offer you a bed. But it’s not about accommodation only. For example, we have been in Budapest with Italian friends And we went to a nice hotel. But in the afternoon, we met a historic teacher. And she showed us around in Budapest. And so we knew much more about the architecture and the people and how it works. And then she showed us a lot of no cost. And we invited her for dinner. And we had a nice afternoon, she was a couch surfer, and she couldn’t offer a bed. And we didn’t want to because we were the four of us.
Liz Sumner
And it’s not like an equal exchange. You don’t have to host the person who has hosted you.
Susanne Uhl Vening
Absolutely not. We have been guests in India, and this Indian family will probably never come to Italy. But we stayed for days in their home. And so we got inside information how how does it work? In India? What do you eat? What do you greetings and where do you go to? So it’s more about sharing information.
Liz Sumner
One thing that made a difference to me when we first started visiting Italy, was being able to connect with people beyond asking Do you have a room and I would like a cappuccino. Jennifer, who travels broadly has some shortcuts that work for her. While Sarah goes in depth in language learning.
Jennifer Sumner
That do it being willing to be stupid, I figure I’m entertaining the locals by my horrible pronunciation and silly construction. There’s a few structures that I will memorize in any language where I will learn how to say, Where is and do Do you have a few of those. And then you just need a list of –, you can take your little dictionary and find the noun you’re looking for. But I will actually learn a few of these very useful phrases.
Sarah Tarvin
For me, my Why is almost always because I adore traveling, I just am obsessed with traveling, but I find it rude to show up in a country and expect everyone to accommodate me. So if there’s a country that I’m particularly drawn to or region, then I tried to learn that language just out of respect for their culture.
Sarah Tarvin
Adults, from all studies, it’s showing that there is really no reality to the idea that adults can’t learn. It really comes down to, you know, a combination of factors. If you are, for example, 65 working 80 hour weeks, you have a busy family and social life. And those are all in one language if it’s your community is monolingual, you don’t travel and you don’t really care, then you’re not going to learn a language at that point. But if the same 65 year old, has more free time, loves to travel or has maybe a very multicultural group of friends. Maybe they have like a new daughter in law and the new grandchild who speak that language at home. Like if the motivation is there. Absolutely. They can absolutely learn a language at any age.
Liz Sumner
Okay, so what advice do you have for adults who think they’d like to begin to learn another language?
Sarah Tarvin
Yeah. So I have a couple of thoughts for adults who want to learn, I would say the first being, you have to connect with your why. So why are you learning the language not to pull off of Marie Kondo’s tidying up thoughts, but it should spark joy, it should be something that gets you excited about it. Otherwise, again, the motivation just isn’t there. And when I say not just know your why, but connect with it, because it’s a long it can be a very long road for learning a language and so you know, maybe a year into it, you’re just not really feeling it anymore. And you have to be able to reconnect with it to come back to it. An example being right now so I do focal months. So each month is I focus on one of the languages maintaining and improving one of the languages and at the moment, it’s French month, and I just wasn’t feeling it this month. You know, I was coming off of a Mandarin month I was pretty stoked about my progress in Mandarin and I just wasn’t feeling the French so I put on a movie that was filmed during the time that I was living in Europe and you know, everyone was wearing the fashions we wore and you know, the music was from that time and and it just really reminded me of that mental space that I was in you know, like that just enthusiasm for Europe and just kind of the also just the feelings of independence that I had as that you know, college student living in Europe and it really sparked that connection. So I would say know your know your why and then keep it close.
Liz Sumner
Combining travel with painting is a wonderful way to see an area learn new skills and find agreeable companions. Here Charles talks about the advantages of a painting holiday.
Liz Sumner
Okay, so imagine somebody is returning to their love of painting. Why Why shouldn’t they just try class at home, what is it about being in an exotic location that is different for for a returning painter?
Charles Mitchell
Okay, I know the people who come to me do, or they join societies or classes, there are sometimes limitations on the kind of experience that that class is able to give them. And those limitations can vary from people who will come to me. And most of their experience has been about taking a postcard and copying a postcard, which I don’t think is always a very, very satisfying experience for someone who wants to create their own artwork. There’s a lot, a lot of classes, of course, take place in a wintry environment. And so the people are locked into a studio, the difference that some of the differences that will come with if they were to take a painting holiday, is that they will meet a group of people who they probably don’t know who they’re not met before, the people who come for the first time. And they’ve been quite brave, I think, because if they come as a solo artist, as an individual, they’re choosing to come on a holiday by themselves. And meet a group of people who– and all artists thing every other artists they can work with is lot better than they they are, going to come and meet a group of people who they don’t know. And it’s quite a brave thing to do, actually. And they meet as I say, we try to structure it. So we meet on a social occasion. And I find by and large that people do get on quite well. Oonce you discover the commonality of the fact that you’re all there to actually try and improve or learn about an element of painting, or just learn how to paint in the first place, or to work on develop a specific skill, conversation runs and friendships develop, actually quite quickly, as well within those groups, and I always find that by the the night of our second dinner, I could go away, actually, because they’ve learned at least as much from each other as they do from me, as well. I think in that one. It’s as much social as it is anything else.
Liz Sumner
Barbara and Jennifer take us out with some thoughts in conclusion.
Barbara Castleton
I think it, my my thing is that, however many lives we may have, this is the only one we’re going to remember. And I think that my motto is to buy the ticket and go. And I’ve had I’ve had so many positive experiences that the few niggling irritations or things that didn’t work out quite right are, you know, just buried against all of these amazing personal experiences with human beings who are just willing to chat with you share with you, give you whatever you need, and the that does strangenesses that sometimes make it awkward for a few seconds. So yeah, buy the ticket and go.
Liz Sumner
Excellent. Jennifer?
Jennifer Sumner
I also travel alone a lot in an RV in the United States. And I learned a very big lesson there that applies to all travel is that every– I had this really old van for a long time. And it was always, every single trip, it had a major breakdown. And again, instead of being avoiding something because you’re afraid it will happen, assume it will and that you will meet meet wonderful people who will help you and that you’ve got what it takes to cope with it. And if you’re content with yourself, you will deal fine with all these bizarre things that happen.
Liz Sumner
Oh, that’s so true. That is I totally concur with the wonderful people who will help you.
Jennifer Sumner
Don’t put your energy into protecting yourself just put your energy into believing in yourself.
Liz Sumner
My thanks to Jennifer Sumner, Barbara Castleton, Susanna Uhl Vening, Sarah Tarvin, and Charles Mitchell. If you’d like to these excerpts, I encourage you to listen to the full episodes. The links are in the show notes. In addition, you might like my other travel related episodes including I always wanted to live abroad, join the Peace Corps, climb Mount Kilimanjaro, and bike across the country. I so appreciate your sharing with your friends, giving me feedback, supporting me on Patreon and leaving reviews. I’m Liz Sumner, reminding you to be bold and thanks for listening.
This episode includes excerpts from the following shows:
I Always Wanted To Travel the World On My Own
https://ialwayswantedto.net/podcast/travel-the-world-on-my-own/
I Always Wanted To Try Couch Surfing
https://ialwayswantedto.net/podcast/try-couch-surfing/
I Always Wanted To Learn Another Language
https://ialwayswantedto.net/podcast/learn-another-language/
I Always Wanted To Travel and Paint
https://ialwayswantedto.net/podcast/travel-and-paint/
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